Dating Violence is prevalent in California, and more so among LGBTQ

By Stuart Woodhams

Teen dating violence is not a problem of a single geographic region, or people, but of a country. And the problem is definitely not better in California.

It was not better either in Massachusetts where 18-year-old Lauren Astley was murdered by her ex-boyfriend in 2011. Her father Malcolm Astley became an advocate against teen dating violence and a symbol for forgiveness when he embraced the parents of his daughter’s killer.

“We males, we need to claim responsibility for much of the worst violence and we need not to be invisible but to step up and take on the unfairness and the pain and prevent it. It is a male problem,” Astley said.

There is some data from the CDC that backs him up. As of 2015, 11.7% of females experienced physical dating violence compared to 7.4% for men. The gap is wider for sexual dating violence with 18.1% of females reporting it to 5.3% for men.

There are also refuting studies that show the gap between the number of men and women perpetrators may not be as large as it seems. Data from the American Psychological Association shows that there is not such a big distinction between perpetrators and victims. If someone is a victim, they are likely a perpetrator, too, according to the data.

The Statistics

Of teens in California, 9.7% have experienced physical dating violence such as being hit, beaten, or injured with an object within the last year, according to the last CDC Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance. The number is even higher for sexual dating violence with 11.7% of teens in California having been violently subjected to kissing, touching, and sex.

These numbers are above the 9.6% national average for physical dating violence and the 10.6% of teens who have experienced sexual dating violence within the last year, but the difference falls within the margin of error.

Across the country, the levels of teen dating violence are comparable, according to University of New Hampshire researcher Robert Eckstein.

“There are little differences here and there throughout the country, but for the most part the numbers are surprisingly similar,” Eckstein said.

The difference in the amount of teen dating violence among whites, Hispanics, and Asians in California is not significantly different. This is not the case for LGBTQ teens--more than double the number of LGBTQ teenagers have experienced dating violence than heterosexual teens.

“The less fortunate part is that they’re less likely to report it and they’re less likely to get help,” Eckstein said. “The awareness of the problem is not as good.”

California’s teenage LGBTQ population has a higher rate of teenage dating violence than the average among heterosexual teenagers in the state and country, according to that 2015 national survey.

In California, 8.2% of heterosexual teens have experienced physical dating violence compared to 21.7% who are lesbian, gay, or bisexual.  

The biggest problem Eckstein said is that of transgender violence. “Transgender teens and transgender adults are far more likely to be sexually abused, sexually assaulted, and abused in relationships,” he said. “They’re a high-risk group.”

The survey only includes gay, bisexual, and lesbian categories as well as an “unsure” group. A staggering 27.8% of “unsure” teenagers said they were sexually abused. Transgender can fall under the category of unsure.

A Solution

Malcolm Astley, the retired school principal who lost his daughter to dating violence, believes that we must understand the “pressure cooker that our society has gradually created for boys and men.” Men as the main perpetrators must solve the problem of dating abuse, he believes.

He compares the current dating violence movement to the suffragette movement of the early twentieth century. Both, he argues counterintuitively, came about because of the men who eventually changed the system after first ignoring the problem.

“We’re in a similar place in history now. Not with the right to vote but with the right to be free of violence,” Astley said.

During the interview at NECIR, he cried several times. It was the sixth anniversary of Lauren’s death. He followed his own advice the few times he broke down and allowed his tears to flow.

“My question for boys and men is often, why aren’t you crying? Look at the pain around you. It’s ok to be sad about that.”

California Laws

Groups like the California Partnership to End Domestic Violence have for years sponsored legislation in California to prevent teen dating violence and put preventative materials in schools.

Between 1996 and 2011, various teen dating violence bills were introduced into the state assembly, but they never made it out of committee. A single bill that would have required schools   to educate children and distribute materials about dating violence was passed by the legislature, but was vetoed by Governor Gray Davis in 2000.

Starting in around 2011, the pace of teen dating bills that passed increased. One of those bills designated February as California’s first teen dating violence month. Teenage dating violence had entered the mainstream.

Local Help

Walnut Avenue Family and Youth Center: Located just down the street from Santa Cruz High, the Walnut Avenue Center offers services and programs to over 3000 people every year. They offer support for domestic violence, parenting, and childcare. The center has occupied their signature blue building at 303 Walnut since 1944. Their number is 831-426-3062.