DARK EFFECTS OF TEEN DATING VIOLENCE

Teen relationships aren’t always just “puppy love” and silly flings. Dating during teen years can leave a lasting impact on the rest of one’s life, especially if a dating relationship has been darkened by violence and abuse, according to countless statistics.
Teen dating violence affects many different people, regardless of shape, size, race, sexuality or age. According to loveisrespect.org, one in three adolescents in the U.S. is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a significant other.
Teen dating violence victims have a higher risk for substance abuse, eating disorders, risky sexual behavior and further domestic violence, and half of these victims attempt suicide. According to msue.anr.msu.edu, about 70 percent of girls and 52 percent of boys who are victims of dating violence report physical injury from a violent relationship. According to dosomething.org, in the U.S, high school girls who have been abused physically and emotionally. These girls are 6 times more likely to become pregnant or contract a sexually transmitted infection.
Teens are also likely to feel an abundance of emotions after and during the abuse they face too. “My mom ended up critically injured by my ex-boyfriend, not only did I feel guilty, I was hurt and angry.” Quasona Cobb, a victim of teen dating violence said in a seethetriumph.org article. Cobb is a teen dating violence survivor. She spent nearly four years in an abusive relationship and “believed [she] was the cause and the cure of everything that went wrong in that relationship.”
According to a Cornell study, in young adulthood, females who had experienced teen dating violence reported increased depression symptoms and were 1.5 times more likely to binge drink or smoke and twice as likely to have suicidal thoughts. Males who had experienced teen dating violence reported more anti-social behaviors, were 1.3 times more likely to use marijuana and twice as likely to have suicidal thoughts. The study controlled for pubertal development, child maltreatment history and a range of socio-demographic factors.
The effects of teen dating violence go far beyond physical and emotional trauma as well. According to futurueswithoutviolence.org, because of violence, teen survivors often experience higher rates of truancy, low academic achievement, social isolation and pregnancy, which can impact their future economic security. According to cdc.gov, in some cases, teen dating violence victims will carry this pattern of violence into future relationships.
In addition to the effects on academic achievement, according to Pediatrics Digest, teen girls who experience dating violence are 4 to 6 times more likely to become pregnant, than teens who did not experience abuse. Teen parents face disproportionately extreme poverty rates. According to thenationalcampaign.org, 66% of families started by teens live in poverty. 62% of teen moms will drop out of school, which connects back to the low academic achievement previously mentioned.
Teen dating violence victims often have an abundance of other problems as well because of the violence they endured. According to violencepreventionworks.org, teen dating violence victims, in general, also lose confidence in themselves, become afraid to express feelings of anger, suffer severe injury, even death, begin to doubt their own abilities, feelings, and decision-making ability, feel isolation from family and friends, feel shame and guilt, feel lonely, face inability to maintain long-lasting or fulfilling relationships, build up large doctor or lawyer expenses, abandon dreams and goals, become depressed, anxious, fearful, or suicidal, begin having problems at work, school, and other activities, and are at risk of being harmed by their abuser.
While physical violence was not always present, the threat of violence was there. At times, I felt like I was skating on thin ice not knowing when my ex-boyfriend would lash out.” Cobb said. “Just days before the 2011 new year I ended the relationship and that night I literally found myself in a fight for my life. The next morning my best friend came to my apartment to help me pack up a few things and I broke my silence to my family. A few days after that, the same person that tried to end my life decided they would retaliate by brutally attacking my mother.” 
After her mother, Arlene Gordon, met Cobb’s abuser at the apartment to make sure he cleared out his belongings, he crushed her skull, shoved her head in a garbage bag, and set her on fire. 
Some teens are more likely to be victims of teen dating then others. According to cdc.org, the risk of having unhealthy relationships increase for teens who believe that dating violence is acceptable, are depressed, anxious, or have other symptoms of trauma, display aggression towards peers or display other aggressive behaviors, use drugs or illegal substances, engage in early sexual activity and have multiple sexual partners, have a friend involved in dating violence, have conflicts with a partner, or witness or experience violence in the home.
Cobb answered the question everybody asks; why didn’t you tell anyone? She explained how her abuser affected her from telling anybody about her difficult situation. “I come from a line of strong and assertive women, and I believed that the label victim meant you are weak or less than. The fear of losing my life kept me silent. Self-blame, insecurities, and shame kept me silent. Not knowing if friends and relatives would look down on me if they knew of my status as a victim of relationship abuse kept me silent.”
Cobb also said “…I never reported him to the police until the day that I actually left the relationship. I was too afraid to start up trouble with him and the police. I knew of incidents where the abusers come back angrier and will do more harm after filing police reports.”
Cobb expressed her feelings about herself after this violent situation happened to her as well, and what effect it had on her. “My mom was intervening to help me and he took his frustration and anger out on her. Through therapy I learned how to let go of the self-blame.”